What If This Was the Last Time You Saw Them?

Here’s a perspective that might feel a little uncomfortable at first — but it’s worth sitting with: what if you treated every interaction as though it might be the last time you saw that person?

Not in a melodramatic, doom-and-gloom kind of way. You don’t need to tearfully hug your kids before they leave for school or pour your soul out to the guy at the coffee shop. But think about it — if something happened tomorrow, would you be at peace with how you left things?

Did you part with a kind word, or did a door slam behind them? Was your last text laced with frustration, or was it filled with understanding? Did you respond to their bad mood with more of the same, or with compassion?

We rarely consider that everyday goodbyes could be final. Life is unpredictable. And while we can’t control what happens to others, we can control how we treat them in the moments we’re given. And that treatment stays with us. If you’ve ever lost someone and your last moment with them was tense or filled with regret, you’ll know that feeling all too well.

But this isn’t just about grief or loss. It’s also about how you show up in the world. The energy you bring to your interactions — whether with loved ones, co-workers, or strangers — doesn’t stop at that moment. It lingers. It shapes your day and ripples out to everyone else you encounter.

Say you storm out after an argument and carry that frustration to the bus, into the office, through every conversation. That energy spreads. On the flip side, imagine leaving someone with kindness, even after a tough moment. You feel lighter. They feel seen. And maybe, just maybe, they carry that warmth into their own world.

This doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself or have boundaries. It means choosing compassion, even when it’s hard. Seeing people not just for what they did in a moment, but for the whole of who they are — flawed, struggling, human. Like you.

It’s not about being saintly. It’s about creating fewer regrets. Fewer “I wish I’d said something different” moments. More moments of peace.

So the next time you say goodbye — to your partner, your friend, the guy in accounts who always rubs you the wrong way — ask yourself: If this was the last time, would I be okay with how I left it?

Choose compassion. Not because you have to — but because you can.

This post is inspired by Barely Zen: A Completely Unscientific Guide To Life by Steve Marsh. For more practical insights explore the full book.